I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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