She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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