Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize