Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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