I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
being pregnant is like rehab
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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