you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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