Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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