I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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