I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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