Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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