Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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