I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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