he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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