Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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