my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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