I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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