from now on my penis is your penis
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize