We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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