im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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