theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize