I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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