Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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