Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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