I can text with my tongue
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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