so explain again why im purple
no
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
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We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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