I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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