it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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