The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My liver is preforming stress tests.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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