i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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