He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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