How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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