But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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