My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
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Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
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I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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