All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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