all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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