You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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