There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize