I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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