I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you made out with another girl for some wings
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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