Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize