They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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