He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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