my phone needs a breathalizer
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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