The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize