STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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