She's JV to your varsity
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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