I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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