Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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