u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize