I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
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you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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