I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize